// DIRT FEST V — sections
// All sections registered as window globals so app.jsx can compose them.
const TICKET_URL = "https://events.humanitix.com/dirt-fest-v";
const EVENT_DATE = "SAT 23 MAY 2026";
const VENUE = "Lord Gladstone Hotel · Chippendale";
const LINEUP = [
"TRINITY AND THE SLUTS",
"ARI KIKO",
"DARKSYDE",
"MARTY ROTTEN",
"RETAIL THERAPY",
"DOCTOR ROBOT",
"LITTLE ARCHER",
"GLOBAL SOUNDS",
"DAYSEA",
"MENARKU",
"THREATNIQUE",
"DAMIEN ALOYSIUS",
"SINISTER MINISTER",
"S.MILES",
"LUNA PEREZ",
"MATTY PAXTON",
"DIRTFEST HOUSE BAND",
"LOUIX",
"SASHA SOH",
"LUKE MARTIN",
"ARIG"];
const LINEUP_HIGHLIGHT = new Set(["DOCTOR ROBOT", "ARI KIKO"]);
// Pseudo-random but deterministic rotation for poster items
function tilt(seed, range = 3) {
const x = Math.sin(seed * 9301 + 49297) * 233280;
const r = (x - Math.floor(x)) * 2 - 1;
return (r * range).toFixed(2) + "deg";
}
// ─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
// NAV
// ─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
function Nav() {
const links = [
["Lineup", "#lineup"],
["Schedule", "#schedule"],
["Venue", "#venue"],
["About", "#about"],
["FAQ", "#faq"]];
return (
);
}
// ─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
// HERO
// ─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
function Hero() {
return (
{/* tape strips */}
{/* mascot mark above the title */}
{/* tiny upper kickers */}
EST. 2022 · INNER WEST · DIYVOL. 005 / FIVE / VPRINT RUN 0421 / 9999
{/* MASSIVE TITLE */}
DIRT
FEST V
{/* floating round stamp */}
★ FIFTH ★
DIRT
FEST
NSW · AU
{/* under-banner */}
◆ {EVENT_DATE}◆ {VENUE}◆ 21 ACTS / 3 STAGES◆ $35 GA
{/* Subhead + CTA row */}
A one-day festival for unsigned music & art, run out of the back room
of a pub in the inner west. No labels, no algorithms —
just the people making the work, and the people who turn up for it.
115 Regent St, Chippendale. The corner pub that's hosted every Dirt Fest since the first one.
Two rooms, a courtyard, a kitchen that does not stop until close.
◇ Train: 6 min walk from Central, 5 from Redfern
◇ Light rail: Chinatown / Central Chalmers stop
◇ Bike racks out front, lock 'em up
◇ Step-free entry, accessible toilet on ground floor
Approx. Not to scale. Phone reception inside is bad — meet outside.
);
}
// ─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
// GALLERY
// ─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
function Gallery() {
const editions = [
{ id: "i", roman: "I", year: "2022", note: "the basement gig that started it" },
{ id: "ii", roman: "II", year: "2023", note: "first time we sold out" },
{ id: "iii", roman: "III", year: "2024", note: "added the back bar / second stage" },
{ id: "iv", roman: "IV", year: "2025", note: "art wall + 18 acts" }];
// 4 slots per edition
return (
SECTION 04 — GALLERY
FOUR YEARS DEEP IN
↓ drop yr photos here — we'll print the best ones on next year's flyer
{editions.map((ed, idx) =>
{ed.roman}DIRT FEST · {ed.year}
— {ed.note}
{[0, 1, 2, 3].map((s) =>
DF{ed.roman}_{String(s + 1).padStart(3, "0")}.JPG
)}
)}
);
}
// ─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
// ABOUT
// ─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
function About() {
return (
SECTION 05 — ABOUT
WHY BOTHER?
for the love of it ♡
Dirt Fest started in 2022 because three friends wanted to put on a gig for the
bands they loved who couldn't get a booking. It hasn't really changed since.
We don't take a cut. Door money, after costs, splits across the bill. The art
on the walls comes from local makers, who keep 100% of what sells.
There's no curator, no taste-maker. Lineups come from open submissions and the
tip-offs of friends. If we book a band you've never heard of, that's the point.
It's small on purpose. 400 people in a pub, one Saturday a year. Every dollar
in the door goes back into making the next one happen, or into the hands of the
people who turned up to play.
If you've got a band, a sculpture, a zine, a film, a busted theremin — submit it.
We read every one. The hard part isn't getting on; the hard part is being honest.
RUN BY VOLUNTEERSNOT FOR PROFITEST. 2022
);
}
// ─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
// FAQ
// ─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
function FAQ() {
const qs = [
["Is there a door sale or is it tickets only?", "Tickets first — door sale only if we haven't sold out. We have for the last three years, so don't bet on it."],
["Is it all-ages?", "18+. Sorry kids. The pub's licence is what it is."],
["Can I bring my own art / zine / tape to sell?", "Yes. Email submissions@dirt-fest.com by 1 May. The market wall is free for anyone on the bill, $10/spot otherwise."],
["Refunds?", "Up to 14 days before the fest. After that, on-sell it to a friend — Humanitix lets you transfer."],
["Lineup clashes?", "Yep — three stages, twenty-one acts, you can't see them all. Plan your night, then throw the plan out."],
["What about food / dietary stuff?", "The Lord Gladstone kitchen runs vegan/veggie/GF options all night. Cash and card both work."],
["I'm in a band — can I play next year?", "Yes — submissions open the Monday after this year's fest. See below."]];
return (